No Winter Lasts Forever

This week I made a quick trip back to Boston and enjoyed the unusually pleasant weather for half a day or so (you know, it’s Boston!). The short getaway was enough to leave me recharged and refreshed, given how deprived I am of real travel. Adulting certainly doesn’t come with weekly vacations, only penny-pinching and finding gratitude while doing so.

The snow had long melted, so the better part of my trip was spent on taking long walks through quiet, tree-lined streets. A luxury I can’t begin to appreciate. I thought about the cold winter nights leaving the practice rooms, pulling all-nighters to make that 8am deadline, and spending hours and hours at the piano transcribing, frustrated and tired.

It would be unwise to still complain about anything that can’t be changed. The only thing I wish I had, is more trust in the self. Just enough to cultivate some space, and a little awareness, for when fears struck.

Lest I forget, the experience is what I’m after, and what brings me here, regardless of what it entails.

Take It from Here

The first glimpse of summer caught me by surprise, and made me wonder where I have been all winter.

Was it denial, or unwilling acceptance?

It’s still all so foreign, yet reminds me of the past.

Nostalgia isn’t a feeling I experience often, or even understand. There has never been consolation in reminiscences, only hope in new pursuits.

Adventure comes at a price. Willing as I was, to take a risk, and make any sacrifice possible, I’m not without fear. It’s never of absolute certainty, if it is a step forward, or around the circle.

But the best lessons have already been taught, the best privileges granted. There’s no reason, not to try.

The Training Ground

Friday night. And practice continues. After five years of living free and easy, this life in the fast lane has yet to hit home.

Of course, all is voluntary. Whatever I asked for, I’m getting double the dose of it.

If my dream were to go back in time, and change how the past was written, this would come as close as it could be.

Chapter Two

The road that was almost too long to travel, took me here before I gave up altogether. Thankfully.

Not an easy goodbye to wave, to the journey that’s now behind me. Neither do I feel nearly as ready, to face all that’s ahead. Why did no one ever tell me, that a pursuit never ends? It only changes.

In all that wishing for the impossible, I cajoled myself into thinking how far I was, only to miss how close I could’ve been. A very fine line, between dreaming, and living a dream, one that I hesitated long enough to draw.

Stubbornness took me so far as to hold on to my far-fetched, seemingly unrealistic, and slightly absurd ambitions. Then I wandered, doubted, waited, and waited.

Little did I know, I was ready and able.